Hope in the Midst of Grief this Holiday Season

This year, I experienced the loss of a baby—a precious, unexpected gift whose presence in my life was fleeting. Over 12 short weeks, I carried both the weight of this surprise and the heaviness of letting it go. Grief in the aftermath has been complex, mingled with a bittersweet relief that my life wouldn’t need to completely restructure.

Grief is like that, isn't it? A swirl of emotions that feel impossible to untangle.

Relief and devastation. Hope and heartache. Gratitude and longing. This is ambivalence: experiencing two seemingly opposing emotions at the same time.

And as the holiday season approaches, these confusing feelings don’t disappear. If anything, they often become sharper and can surface randomly. 

I long to experience the fullness of joy this holiday season, but doing so does not discount the reality of grief as well. Without engaging with the grief that often lies just beneath the surface, joy will remain surface level and insincere.

I know none of us want to feel sad. But here’s the truth: you’re already carrying sadness. It just shows up in ways you may not recognize:
 

• Anger, shutting down, or rage-cleaning.

• Numbing out with Netflix or endless busyness.

• Avoiding intimacy or striving to overachieve.

• People-pleasing and pretending you're okay.
   

Sadness that goes unaddressed often turns into fear. And fear keeps us stuck in patterns of false freedom and self-protection. But Godly grief—grieving with God—can change everything. It allows us to name the harm done to us, by us, and around us. And in that naming, we untether from the brokenness and step into His love, freedom, and joy.

This truth is reflected in my favorite Christmas lyric from O Holy Night:

"A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices. For yonder waits a new and glorious morn."
 

A thrill of hope for a weary world.
A song of joy to pierce the darkness.
An eager expectation for the morning as we linger in the night.

My prayer for you this Christmas is that you will encounter this thrill of hope—a hope that moves you forward into the fullness of all God has destined for you.

This holiday season, may your tears be held with gentleness by the God who is with you in your sorrow. May He lighten the load of your grief and make room for a peace that surpasses all understanding.
 

With love and hope, 

Tori
Freedom Coach & Director of Marketing & Strategy