Am I safe with God?

For most of my life, I felt like I had no story to process with God or others.
I certainly would not have used the word "trauma" to describe my childhood.
Growing up in a loving Christian family, the pain that I experienced seemed insignificant compared to the suffering of the world. It wasn’t until I faced burnout on my entrepreneurial journey that I had to come face to face with the reality that I had some healing work to do. 

Throughout the rest of April our newsletters, cohort membership, and social media will all focus on exploring different ways your story might be impacting your vocation. The way you approach your work, whether in your home, workplace, or community, can be unknowingly shaped by past experiences of harm. 

Behaviors like perfectionism, overworking, and people pleasing had deep rooted systems that connected to pain in my own story. Each of these behaviors reveals a belief that was formed from a past experience…  

These behaviors were coping mechanisms that secured a place of love, joy, and belonging in my family, church, and friend groups. But as I grew beyond childhood, these adaptive behaviors became traps that kept me from true freedom in my relationships.

Healing self sabotage means creating systems of safety. The first time I heard this, I was a bit surprised. What does safety have to do with changing behavior for the better?...
From my perspective, I felt safe enough.
I really just wanted to set goals, keep them, and somehow escape the cycles of stress, overwhelm, and shame that would come along with the process. But here is the thing: without safety, we will live in a constant state of shut down or panic. 

When safety is established with God, ourselves, and others we unlock the possibility of a new way of living. When the presence of safety outweighs the possibility of danger, we become settled enough in our body, mind, and spirit to learn new things and grow deeper trust and connection.

It’s within the boundaries of safety that new possibilities and perspective emerge; we suddenly have the opportunity to make empowered choices and the work we may have struggled to do becomes possible again. To grow safety with God, we must first engage the harm in our stories where fear took root (we do this in community).

Tori Hein
FREEDOM MOVEMENT