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These are just a few of the ways that we, as humans, can find ourselves responding to an argument – especially in our romantic relationships. The tricky part is these responses are often programmed WAY before you met your significant other.
You might be thinking, “YES! This is exactly what my partner does!” Let’s take it a step further and wonder with compassion and curiosity how their story might have contributed to this? But most important of all, let’s take a look at our own story and begin to notice the familiar patterns of our own behavior.
A moment of tension in marriage will bring up familiar feelings in our body, old tapes in our mind and a propulsion towards a certain response in an argument. You might also find that arguments in general make you feel really anxious or unsafe in your own body.
As we begin to understand our story, we often see that these responses may have served us well or made sense growing up. Our programmed responses might not be how we would like to show up in stress or tension anymore.
Often, when we examine our own hearts we do it with judgment, criticism, or shame. What if we allowed the Holy Spirit to examine our hearts to bring whatever is found under God’s loving care and grace instead? He is the one who, ultimately, knows us and loves us best.
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