My Early Views on Ministry
Growing up as a church staff kid, I subconsciously believed that impactful ministry happened best on a stage. I wanted to be seen, recognized, and entrusted with roles that were visibly impactful. I strived relentlessly, hoping to be acknowledged by Christian leaders, thinking that more responsibility in the church equated to greater significance in the eyes of God.
When the goal is to be seen by people, we forfeit our reward from our Father to settle with a self-serving and momentary praise and attention from people. But when we pursue God’s presence in the secret place — our father who sees in secret rewards us with more of Himself.
Satisfied in Secret
I was forced into a secret place against my will at 21 years old when I found out I was pregnant just three months after getting married. My husband was off to travel the world singing songs about Jesus on stages while I sat disillusioned and lonely at home working, doing laundry, and taking care of my son. I felt benched by God, envious, and angry.
It was here, exiled in obscurity, that I discovered what Chip Dodd calls the gift that comes from loneliness — intimacy. It wasn’t about being in the spotlight or receiving accolades from others. The real ministry, the most profound and sacred work, was happening in the mundane moments of my everyday life.
It was in the monotony of chores, in the daily demands of raising children, in faithfully stewarding my career, and in the quiet moments of abiding in God’s presence that I found my true purpose in His presence.
It was in the secret place where God was shaping my heart, teaching me to love deeply, serve selflessly, and remain rooted in His love.
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